One tryout doesn’t define who your athlete is. Your most important job is to help them see that.

One of the most nerve-racking experiences as a youth athlete is a tryout.

Think about it. You make the team, and everything is great! You may develop new friendships and get to play with your existing friends. You may think you’re in the cool group because you made the team. You perceive everything to be great.

Then there are those that don’t make the team.

If you don’t make the team, you may perceive life to be miserable. People may laugh at you because you got cut, you may start to question your own skills, you may get angry, you may get confused—life might just stink when you find out you got cut.

These are just a few things that could happen, depending on how a tryout goes. No wonder kids are nervous!

As parents and coaches, it is your job to be there for them—to prepare them prior to, watch them during, and be there for them after.

The result of a tryout can feel like a really big deal to a young athlete. Your job isn’t necessarily to make the result less important to them. It’s to help them understand that one tryout does not define who they are as an athlete or as a person.

Here are a few tips to be the best you can in this situation as a parent or coach.

Prior to the Tryout

1. Make Sure They’re Prepared Mentally and Physically

Make sure they have had a good meal, are rested, and are hydrated.

Tryouts aren’t the time to make major changes to their routine. Help them get comfortable and confident by sticking with what they already know.

2. Get Them the Practice They Need Leading Up

If there are specific skills they know will be tested, give them opportunities to practice those skills leading up to the tryout.

But don’t overdo it.

The goal is to help them feel prepared, not exhausted.

3. Get Them There on Time

Give yourself plenty of time to get there.

Being rushed into a tryout can add unnecessary stress before they even step on the field. Arriving early gives them time to get settled, take a breath, and get comfortable with their surroundings.

4. Pack Drinks and Snacks for Their Bag

Have water or a sports drink available, along with a few snacks they know they like.

It may seem like a small thing, but knowing they have everything they need can help them feel more prepared.

5. Be Positive

Your attitude matters.

If you’re nervous, constantly talking about how important the tryout is, or telling them how badly you want them to make the team, they can pick up on that pressure.

Keep things positive and relaxed.

6. Encourage Them to Do Their Best and Play Their Game

Remind them that they don’t need to become a different athlete for the tryout.

Tell them to play their game, compete, and control what they can control.

They can’t control who else shows up, what another athlete does, or what a coach is looking for.

They can control their effort, attitude, preparation, and how they respond to adversity.

During the Tryout

1. Be Present, but Be Quiet

This is their moment.

Be there and support them, but let the coaches coach and let your athlete compete.

Sometimes the best thing you can do from the stands is simply be there.

2. Don’t Embarrass Them

Wait until after to tell them what you want.

Don’t yell instructions from the stands or try to coach them through every drill. Even if you’re trying to help, it can add pressure and make them uncomfortable.

Let them focus on the tryout.

3. Be Ready with Anything They May Need

Have an extra drink, snack, equipment, or anything else they might need in their bag.

You may not be able to help them with what happens on the field, but you can make sure they’re prepared for everything around it.

After the Tryout

How you respond in the first few minutes often matters more than anything the coaches said.

Your athlete will take their emotional cue from you. So before you say a word, take a breath and check your own reaction first. If you’re feeling disappointed, don’t let them carry that on top of whatever they’re already feeling.

1. Be Positive No Matter How They Performed

The key is to stay even-keeled so they don’t get overconfident or too down on themselves.

If they played great, celebrate the effort without making them feel like their performance determines their worth.

If they struggled, don’t make the car ride home a postgame press conference.

They already know how they performed.

2. If They Want to Talk About It, Listen

If they want to talk about it, listen.

If they don’t, don’t force their hand.

Sometimes athletes need to talk through what happened. Other times, they just need some space.

Let them decide.

3. Have Lunch or Dinner Planned for After

This could either be a celebration or something to take their mind off it.

Either way, give them something to look forward to after the tryout that has nothing to do with whether they made the team.

4. Remind Them It’s Not the End of the World

There is plenty of opportunity out there.

Not making one team doesn’t mean they aren’t good enough to play baseball. It doesn’t mean they can’t improve. It doesn’t mean they can’t find another team, another opportunity, or another path.

Sometimes getting cut can even become a turning point.

It can motivate an athlete to work harder, learn what they need to improve, and come back better the next time.

The Most Important Thing

At the end of the day, your athlete needs to know that your support isn’t dependent on the result.

They shouldn’t feel like they made you proud because they made the team or disappointed you because they didn’t.

They’re going to have successes and failures throughout their athletic career. There will be teams they make, teams they don’t make, games where they are the best player on the field, and games where nothing goes right.

That’s part of being an athlete.

Our job as parents and coaches is to help them learn how to handle all of it.

Prepare them. Support them. Let them compete.

And when it’s over—win or lose—make sure the last thing they feel from you is that you’re in their corner. Not because of what happened at the tryout, but simply because they’re yours.

There is always another tryout, another team, another opportunity.

What they’ll remember most is who was sitting beside them through all of it.